Am I Wrong for Telling My Husband’s Ex That I Must Have Been His Favorite Girlfriend Since He Married Me?

Phoebe believed she and Caleb had finally found their happily ever after. But one night, a casual comment at a bar triggered a surprising reaction from Patty, Caleb’s ex. As the truth unfolded, Phoebe found herself facing a twist she never saw coming.

When I first met Caleb, we were both 12, just kids with awkward smiles and way too many freckles. Our lives intertwined like the roots of an old tree, sometimes growing together, sometimes apart, but always finding a way back to each other.

Two smiling youngsters | Source: Midjourney

By the time we turned 22, we’d shared more memories than most couples do in a lifetime. But life has a funny way of complicating things, and we broke up, thinking it was for the best, at least, at the time.

Fast forward 17 years and life gave us another chance. We reconnected three years ago and have been married for a little over two years now. Caleb and I are both 40 and our past feels like a distant but essential part of our story.

A grayscale photo of a couple dancing on a promenade | Source: Pexels

“Can you believe it took us almost two decades to get it right?” I laughed, looking into Caleb’s eyes as we stood at the altar.

“Better late than never,” he grinned. “Phoebe, from the moment I met you, I knew my life would never be the same. I promise to love you, cherish you, and never take our time together for granted.”

Tears welled up in my eyes. “Caleb, we’ve had our ups and downs, but every moment has brought us here. I vow to stand by you, love you fiercely, and always find our way back to each other.”

A bride and groom at the altar | Source: Midjourney

The ceremony was beautiful, filled with friends and family who had watched our on-again, off-again romance unfold. Among the well-wishers was Patty, Caleb’s ex.

Patty and my husband broke up on good terms. She occasionally reaches out to say happy birthday and Merry Christmas, and she congratulated us when she heard we were getting married.

One Saturday night, we decided to hit the local bar, a cozy spot with dim lighting and a jukebox that played more classics than current hits. We were just settling into our drinks when Patty walked in. She spotted us and came over with a smile.

A woman with a cocktail standing in a bar | Source: Pexels

“Hey, stranger!” she said, her eyes sparkling as she greeted Caleb with a hug.

“Patty, good to see you,” Caleb replied warmly.

“Phoebe,” she turned to me, “you look great.”

“Thanks, Patty. You too.”

We all sat together, the conversation flowing as easily as the drinks. It wasn’t long before we were reminiscing about old times.

“Remember that time we went to that awful karaoke bar?” Patty laughed, her eyes flicking between Caleb and me.

“Oh God, yes. I thought Caleb was going to break the microphone,” I chuckled.

“Hey, I have the voice of an angel,” Caleb protested, grinning.

A man singing | Source: Pexels

As the night wore on, the topics grew more personal. Patty leaned closer to Caleb, a playful glint in her eye. “Well, at least I will always be your favorite girlfriend.”

Her words hung in the air for a moment. I felt a knot form in my stomach, but I managed to laugh. “Wouldn’t I be his favorite girlfriend since I’m the one he married?” I said, keeping my tone light but firm.

Patty’s smile faded. She finished her drink and stood up. “I think I’m going to call it a night. Good seeing you both.”

A woman in a bar | Source: Pexels

“Patty, don’t go,” Caleb started, but she was already walking away.

Later that night, as we were winding down, Caleb’s phone buzzed. It was a long message from Patty.

“Caleb, I was very shocked at how jealous, immature, petty, and mean Phoebe is, given her age. I thought she’d be more secure in your marriage and herself. It’s okay for you to care about others besides just her. You telling me I was your favorite girlfriend all those years ago always meant a lot to me. I don’t understand why she had to ruin that.”

A distraught woman using her cell phone | Source: Pexels

Caleb sighed, rubbing his temples. “I can’t believe she sent this.”

“Who sent what?” I asked, confused by Caleb’s reaction.

“Patty. She sent a text message about why she left the bar. And she’s blaming you for everything,” said Caleb, carefully weighing his words.

“But Caleb, I didn’t mean to…” I was at a loss for words.

Caleb looked at me, concern etched on his face. “Phoebe, you didn’t do anything wrong. Let me handle this.”

A concerned husband looking at his wife sitting in their living room | Source: Midjourney

I watched as he typed a response to Patty, carefully choosing his words. “Patty, I’m sorry that what Phoebe said upset you, but she was just stating a fact. She is my favorite, and that’s exactly why I married her.”

After a few minutes, Patty’s reply came through.

“Caleb, she thinks she’s better than me because you always said you’d never marry, even if you had a gun to your head. But with her, you proposed after a month and were married within eight and a half months. It hurts to see how quickly you changed for her.”

A bride and groom kissing | Source: Pexels

Caleb sighed and began typing again.

“Patty, that’s not true. Phoebe doesn’t think she’s better than anyone. I’m really sorry you’re hurt, but what she said wasn’t wrong. I fell in love with Phoebe all over again and wanted to spend my life with her. Please don’t say things about her that aren’t true, and please don’t speak about her like that again.”

He put his phone down and looked at me. “I hope that clears things up.”

A man sitting on the bed and using his phone | Source: Pexels

“I truly never in a million years would want to hurt anyone’s feelings,” I said, my voice trembling slightly. “I said I was your favorite because, well, you marry your favorite person, right? Why would you marry someone who isn’t your favorite?”

Caleb wrapped his arms around me. “You’re absolutely right. Patty’s just dealing with her own issues. This isn’t your fault.”

The next morning, I met up with my best friend, Luna, at our favorite coffee shop. Luna always had a way of putting things into perspective.

The interior of a coffee shop | Source: Pexels

“So, Patty is all upset because you said you’re Caleb’s favorite?” she asked, stirring her latte.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “She said I’m petty and jealous, but I was just stating a fact. Am I wrong here?”

“Phoebe, you didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” Luna said firmly. “Maybe Patty’s going through some stuff. She could have just gone through a breakup and is taking it out on you. Don’t let it get to you.”

“I guess,” I said, still feeling unsettled. “It just bothers me that she thinks I’m trying to compete with her.”

A woman sitting in a coffee shop with a friend | Source: Midjourney

Luna reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “Don’t worry about her. Focus on your relationship with Caleb. He chose you, remember that.”

Feeling a bit more reassured, I decided to focus on my day. However, Patty’s words lingered in the back of my mind.

Later that evening, I found Caleb in the kitchen, making dinner.

“Do you think Patty’s right?” I asked, leaning against the counter.

“About what?” he asked, looking up from the chopping board.

“About me being insecure and petty. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”

A woman watching her husband chop vegetables in the kitchen | Source: Pexels

Caleb put down the knife and walked over to me. “Phoebe, you are the most confident and secure person I know. Don’t let Patty’s issues make you doubt yourself. You have every right to feel the way you do.”

“I just don’t want any drama,” I sighed.

“There won’t be any,” he said, pulling me into a hug. “I love you, and that’s all that matters.”

A couple hug in the kitchen | Source: Midjourney

The following weekend, we had a small gathering at our place. Luna was there, along with a few other close friends. We were all having a good time when my phone buzzed. It was another message from Patty.

“I thought we agreed that Caleb and I would still be friends. This isn’t fair, Phoebe. You’re pushing me out of his life.”

I showed the message to Luna, who raised an eyebrow. “She’s really not letting this go, is she?”

“What should I do?” I asked, feeling torn.

A woman talking to a female friend at home | Source: Pexels

“Maybe it’s time to have a face-to-face talk with her,” Luna suggested. “Clear the air once and for all.”

That idea made me nervous, but I knew she was right. Caleb agreed, and we arranged to meet Patty at a quiet café the next day.

When we arrived, Patty was already there, fidgeting with her coffee cup. She looked up as we approached, a mixture of hope and resentment in her eyes.

A closeup of a woman sitting at a table with a cup of coffee | Source: Pexels

“Patty,” I started, taking a deep breath. “We’re here to talk because we want to understand what’s really going on. We don’t want any bad blood between us.”

“I just feel like you’re taking Caleb away from me,” she said, her voice cracking. “We were good friends, and now it feels like I’ve lost him completely.”

“Patty, we’re not trying to push you out,” Caleb said gently. “But things have changed. I’m married now, and my priority is Phoebe. That doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends, but there have to be boundaries.”

A man talking to a female friend in a café | Source: Midjourney

“I don’t know if I can handle that,” Patty admitted, tears welling up. “It’s hard seeing you with someone else.”

“I understand,” I said softly. “But you have to respect our relationship. Caleb and I are building a life together, and we need you to support that, not tear it down.”

Patty nodded slowly, wiping her eyes. “I’ll try. It’s just… it’s going to take some time.”

An extremely sad woman sitting in a café | Source: Midjourney

“We get that,” Caleb said. “But we all need to move forward. Let’s take it one step at a time.”

As we left the café, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. It wasn’t a perfect resolution, but it was a start. And for the first time in days, I felt hopeful about the future.

What would you have done in my place?

A thoughtful woman looking out the window | Source: Pexels